A New Beginning
by SpikeLover7
Summary: Takes place the night that episode 7-12, "Potential", ended. Based on a tvguide.com blurb (preview) of the next new episode of Buffy, airing Feb. 4. B/S of course! ;)
1. Prologue

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Title: A New Beginning (Part 1 of ?)

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Rating: PG (for mild descriptions of pain and minimal English curse words. Basically, if you can watch the show, you can read the story.)

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Ship: B/S of course! What else?

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Disclaimers: Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the sole property of Joss Whedon, ME, etc. I never have and never will own the characters. I know, it's sad isn't it. :'( I'm just borrowing the characters to tell a story.

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Special thanks: To my wonderful beta Wynn. Her wonderful advice is always well appreciated. And her speedy beta-ing is greatly appreciated as well. I'd almost be afraid to post my stories without her help.

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Spoilers: The idea for this story is based on a tvguide.com blurb, or preview, for the next new episode of Buffy, showing on Feb. 4. Basically, I read the blurb, and used one of their ideas to base this story on. Since I hate reading spoilers, that's as far as they go in this story. The rest is just my ideas about what I think could happen (or more precisely, should happen. ;) ). If you don't like to read the blurbs, don't read the story or the summary that comes next (until after the episode of course. ;) ). You've been warned. :)

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Summary: Takes place the night that episode 7-12, "Potential", ended. According to tvguide.com, "…Spike is beset by unexplained headaches…". That idea is the basis for this story. As I said above, that is as spoilery as it gets. All other details are my own wishful thinking. Just a friendly warning: I'm a sucker for "Spike in pain" fics because I love to see Buffy comforting him. Just thought I should warn you ahead of time.

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Feedback: PLEASE!!! I absolutely LOVE reviews! :) They're the spice of life! :D

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AN: This story came to me when I had 45 minutes to kill after a science midterm. As soon as I got home, it blossomed into a very detailed outline. Now it's becoming a story. This is just the prologue. Kind of like the teaser of a Buffy episode. I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think of it, and I'll continue, whether you like it or not. I have the whole story set out, I just have to write it. It should be about 8 chapters long. I hope to have it finished before the next new episode of Buffy airs. I can't promise anything, but I'll try. Okay, enough from me. Read and enjoy! And review of course. :)

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A New Beginning

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Prologue

It was dark. Pitch black darkness surrounded her, enveloped her. It was quiet. You could hear a pin drop in the dead silence. It was a lonely, desolate place. And it was cold. Terribly cold. The kind of cold the seeps into your bones, filling you up inside until there's nothing left except that cold, and that dark, and a feeling of utter loneliness. 

Buffy blinked. Maybe she only had her eyes closed, and if she opened them she could see again. But nothing happened. The darkness was still there, a vast expanse of nothing. Now she shivered. She couldn't sense anyone near her. She was alone.

All of a sudden, an earth-shattering scream rent the air, breaking the silence into a thousand tiny pieces. Buffy jumped, shocked to hear noise for the first time. The sound ended just as quickly as it had started. After a few seconds, she could hear a faint noise. It sounded like someone…whimpering…in pain. Buffy began to move in the direction of the quiet sound.

Though she couldn't see where she was going, she knew she was headed in the right direction because the sound was getting louder. And as she got closer, she began to make out words interspersed between the whimpers.

"Oh God."

"It hurts."

"I can't take it."

To Buffy's horror, the sounds were getting more desperate, more pain filled, and the horrible screaming had begun again. Then she heard:

  
"Bloody hell! Somebody help me! Buffy!"

She knew that voice. She knew it all too well. Spike.

When he started crying, she began to run. The darkness was endless, and Buffy was afraid that she'd never reach him. She was having trouble running. Her feet barely ever left the ground. She used all her strength, but she wasn't getting far fast. She was running in slow motion. She'd never get to him.

Just when Buffy felt that all hope was lost, she reached him. The darkness dissipated enough so that she could see him. He was in what looked to her to be a hospital room. He was in a normal white hospital gown. He was sitting on the floor of the room, clutching his head and screaming in pain. She called out to him. 

"Spike."

He turned to her and he stopped screaming. 

"Buffy?"

She smiled at him and he smiled back. All of a sudden, he started to scream again louder than before. If that was even possible.

"SPIKE!"

"OH…GOD!!" he yelled. 

"Spike!" Buffy tried to move toward him, but she was stopped by some kind of forcefield. No, not a forcefield. A glass window. Buffy began to pound on it, trying desperately to get in to him. But the glass wouldn't break. It didn't even crack, even with the slayer strength that she was applying. She was powerless to help him. 

"Spike," Buffy whispered, tears forming in her eyes. He turned toward her again. He stopped screaming, though Buffy could see that he was still in pain. Using what looked to be all the strength he had left, Spike pushed himself off the floor and to his feet. He began to walk over to her, hissing in pain as whatever was ailing him hit again. 

Buffy placed her hand up against the glass as he did the same, putting his hand right over hers. So close, and yet so far. As blood began to pour from his nose, and soon his ears as well, Buffy choked back a sob. Spike smiled at her, and she could barely hear him when he said, "I love you."

Before she could take her next breath, Spike's face contorted in pain and let out his loudest scream yet. His hand moved away and joined his other on his head as the pain continued to push blood out of his nose and ears. 

The tears flowed down Buffy's face, silent sobs wracking her body. She watched as Spike turned around once more, fighting the pain, and placing his hand over hers as the screaming stopped - forever. 

Spike's body began to shimmer. The shimmer traveled up his body, taking him with it. Buffy watched helplessly as Spike's body fell into ash at her feet.

"N-"

"NO!!!" 

Buffy shot up in bed screaming, her breathing labored. She looked around her to find that she was in her room. A dream. It had all been a dream. No, not a dream. A nightmare.

The door shot open and Spike dashed inside, running to her bed and sitting down next to her. He looked at her with worry and concern etched on his face. He put his hand on her arm as he asked, "Are you all right, Buffy? What happened?"

Buffy turned toward him, still panting. It took a few seconds before she could really recognize him. When she did, she smiled, tear tracks shining on her face. She reached out her and touched his face, almost to reassure herself that he was still here. She stroked his face, whispering his name. 

Spike looked even more worried. He reached his own hand up to cover hers, gently stroking it back. "What's wrong, luv? Are you okay?"

All of a sudden, Buffy became aware of what she was doing. She gently pulled her hand out of his and placed it in her lap. She relished doing it, not wanting to let go of him for fear that he would disappear like he had before, but she never liked her feelings to show. Especially to him. She looked down at her hand as she answered. "I'm fine. I just had a nightmare."

"One of those prophetic slayer kinds?"

Buffy considered it for a moment, but the thought of it scared her, and she stated loudly, as though to convince herself, "No!" Off of his questioning look, she continued, "At least, I hope not."

"Do you want me to get you anything, pet?"

"No. I'm okay. Really," she stated, wanting to reassure not just him, but herself as well.

"You sure? You don't want some water or anything?"

Buffy considered it for a second before answering him. "Actually, water sounds good." Buffy really needed to have some time to think to herself alone - to try and figure out just what the dream meant - because she had a very bad feeling that it was indeed one of those "prophetic slayer kinds."

"Okay, I'll go get you some," he said. He reached his hand to hers and gave it a quick squeeze, trying to give her strength. Letting her know that he was there for her if she needed him. Little did he know how much she really did.

He got up and headed for the door. But before he left, he paused, hand on the knob. He knew there was more to what had happened that she was letting on. He turned his head around. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked.

She smiled at him, trying hard to hold back the tears that she could feel coming. "I'm fine," she said, putting as much joy into the declaration as she could.

Spike smiled back, a smile filled with relief, a hint of doubt, and, as always, love. "Good," he whispered, just loud enough for her to hear. He turned around and left the room, closing the door behind him. Buffy turned her head from the door and back toward her lap. "I'm just fine," she whispered, a tear falling down her face – the first of many to follow in the days to come. 

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TBC

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And that's only the beginning. Make sure to review! ;)


	2. Chapter 1

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AN: I apologize in advance for this chapter. It's not a very interesting one. It's one of those necessary filler chapters. You need it for the rest of the story, but alone it's kinda lame. It's, as my wonderful beta would say, a "stepping stone." I tried my best to spice it up. Hope you guys enjoy it. Make sure to review it either way. I really appreciate the reviews you guys have left so far. You have no idea how much they mean to me. Keep em' coming! :)

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A New Beginning

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Chapter 1

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**Nighttime. One week later.**

Buffy and the SIT's were gathered around the island counter in the kitchen. The girls were busy eating pizza and chips that they'd somehow managed to scrounge from the house. Buffy knew that someone was going to need to learn to cook- and fast. Pizza, chips, and soda everyday was not the best diet for a potential slayer to be on. Actually, it wasn't the best diet for _anyone_ to be on. Buffy sighed and headed for the fridge. Maybe she could find some lettuce and make a salad.

"Evening all."

Buffy turned around to see Spike walk into the kitchen. He had his normal attire of black pants and shirt. His hair, however, was anything _but_ normal. It was all wavy and messy. Little corkscrew curls ran wild on his head. It was quite cute. 'Wait. Cute? No! "Spike" and "cute"? Not in the same sentence. Bad Buffy!' While Buffy was busy berating herself for thinking such things, the SIT's were busy saying hello. And giggling.

Spike frowned. He never would understand teenage girls. They were always so giggly about something or other. "Glad to see you're all chipper tonight."

Buffy smiled at his obliviousness to both his hair and the girl's giggles. Okay, even she couldn't live in denial forever. The whole thing was quite adorable. Buffy sighed and began to rummage through the cabinets in search of something else. Maybe some soup or something. Anything but _pizza_ again.

Meanwhile, Spike had pulled a packet of blood out of the fridge and poured it in a mug. He was now on his way to the microwave. As he passed by her, she turned around, walking right into him.

"Sorry!" they apologized in unison. They both proceeded to get nervous, not used to such close contact. 

"Hmm. Small kitchen," Buffy said as she sidled past him, heading for more cabinets.

"Right," Spike replied, following her to the microwave beneath the very cabinets that Buffy was searching through.

The SIT's proceeded to exchange looks. The kinds that meant they knew there was more going on between them than they'd like to admit.

Spike popped the mug in the microwave and began to heat the blood as Buffy continued to search, mumbling curse words as she went, complaining that there was "nothing to eat in this damn house." Spike smiled. She was so cute when she talked to herself like that.

All of a sudden she let out a very loud profanity when she banged her head on the bottom of the cabinet. One of the cans teetered precariously on the edge before falling, heading straight for Buffy's already bruised head. Spike reached out and caught the can before it barely left the shelf.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. You oughta be careful, luv. Don't wanta get hit in the head with…" He looked at the can. "Chicken noodle soup."

"Oh. Thank you. Just what I was looking for," she replied, taking the can from him and heading off to get a pot. Spike just grinned at her. 

When the microwave finally dinged Spike opened the door and took out the mug. 'Here's to my health,' he thought as he started to drink. All of a sudden, he choked as he felt a jolt of pain shot through him. 

"Owww," he hissed under his breath.

Buffy had her head stuck in yet another cabinet searching for a pot when she heard him. She pulled her head out and turned to him. "Are you okay?" she asked, concern clearly evident in her tone and on her face.

Spike shook his head as if trying to clear it and then turned to her to answer. "Yeah. I'm fine. Must be the blood. Not…fresh or something. I'll just try a different one."

When Buffy still looked concerned, Spike stepped closer to her and smiled. "I'm fine," he whispered firmly but gently. "Blood can go bad sometimes. It's no big deal. I'll just pour it out and try another. You just make sure you take care of feeding yourself. You need your strength."

Buffy smiled at his concern for her and replied, "Yeah. Right. Good idea." She went back to the cabinet to continue looking for a pot. 

Spike poured the blood out in the sink and proceeded to wash the mug. If the blood was bad, he should get rid of all of it. When he was done, he rinsed out the sink and took the mug back to the fridge, where he pulled out another packet of blood. He opened it up a bit in the corner and took a quick sniff. It smelled fine to him. He poured it out in the mug and brought it back to the microwave.

When it was done, he pulled it out and sniffed it again. Same as usual. He then, very carefully, took a tiny sip. Yup, tasted okay too. He started to drink it and he'd soon polished it off. He completely missed the wary look Buffy was shooting him from her perch at the stove.

Spike rummaged through his bag in search of his gel. He'd completely forgotten to put it on before going downstairs. Without a reflection it was a little hard for him to check his appearance in the morning. Or…at night. Spike cursed as his search continued in vain. He knew he'd put the damn stuff back in there yesterday.

All of a sudden, Spike hissed as a jolt of pain laced through him. 'Dammit. That whole batch musta been bad,' he thought to himself, rubbing his head to try and get the pain to stop. 

When it subsided, he went back to his bag and dug around some more.

"There you are!" he exclaimed, pulling out the tube of gel. There was no way in hell he'd go out training with his hair looking they way it was. 

As he popped off the top, another jolt of pain laced through him, worse than the other two. "Dammit!" he cursed as his hand went to his head again. "Bad blood's never done stuff like this before." He paused, waiting for it to pass, and then began to fix his hair.

"Hey, you!"

Spike shot around to find Buffy standing in the doorway. "What?"

"You can do that somewhere else. Someone needs to use her room to change."

Spike smiled. He forgot sometimes that he was staying in Buffy's room. She'd had him sleeping in her bed for awhile after she rescued him. She said he needed a good bed to heal properly. Then, when he'd insisted she needed her own bed again, not some cot on the floor, she took it back. He'd intended to move back to Xander's, but Buffy said that since even _Xander_ rarely went home anymore, he might as well stick around too. He'd then insisted he move somewhere else in the house. But Buffy had put her foot down and insisted he stay in her room on the cot. She'd said that there was really no where else in the house left, and since she wasn't sharing a room with anyone, he might as well stay. Spike had wanted to ask why she didn't share with Willow or someone, but Buffy had given him "the look". The one that said "I'm the Slayer. Either you do what I say or I kick your ass." So Spike had given in to her insistence and he'd now taken up residence on a cot in her room. That's how he'd come to find himself being pushed out the door.

"I'll be out in ten. You'll be ready by then?"

"Sure thing pet. It's not like I have much to do to get ready seeing as I'm a vamp. And a guy."

Buffy grinned playfully at him. "Watch it mister or you'll find yourself sleeping outside. In the sun."

"Yes ma'am!" he answered, making sure to stand up straight and salute.

Buffy shook her head and closed the door.

Spike sighed and headed off the find someplace where he could fix his hair.

Fifteen minutes later, Spike was sitting on the couch in the living room. He was curled up in a ball to the side of the couch, arms crossed and his head resting on the arm. The shots of pain he'd been feeling hadn't stopped. In fact, they seemed to be getting worse. They now left a constant throbbing in their wake.

Spike looked up when he heard Buffy coming down the stairs. He sat up as quickly as he could, moaning as the sudden action caused his head to spin. He ignored it and continued to make his pose look more natural. He didn't want to worry Buffy any more than he already had. She'd been, as she might say, "wigging out", since he got back from his torture session with the First. The poor girl had enough to deal with without having to worry about him.

Buffy continued down the stairs. Spotting Spike on the couch, she asked, "Ready to go?"

'How do I break it to her easy?' he thought to himself. After a few seconds, he replied, "Actually, if it's all the same to you luv, I think I'll sit this one out."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'm just not feelin' up to it tonight."

"Up to it? Why? Are you okay?"

'Shit. Way to go you wanker. That'll keep her calm.' Out loud, he answered, "I'm fine. I think I just slept wrong this morning. Muscles are feeling kinda achy. Think I should give them a rest."

"Yeah? Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Your ribs are okay?"

"Peachy."

"Okay. As long as you're sure."

"Yeah. Pretty sure."

"You know, maybe I should let you sleep in my bed-"

"God damnit Buffy! Would you just go already?!" he screamed, getting up from the couch.

Buffy stopped, shocked at his outburst. "What-"

"I'm so _sick and tired_ of everyone asking me if I'm okay every hour of every bloody day! Of people offering me their beds or a warm mug of blood. I'm sick and tired of being coddled and babied all the time!"

Buffy's surprised expression quickly turned to one of anger and annoyance. "Fine," she ground out through clenched teeth. She headed to the front door and opened it. "Guys!" she yelled. "We're leaving! Now!"

The SIT's arrived from various places in the house and headed out the door. After the last girl had left, Buffy turned to Spike and said sarcastically, "Have fun here with Andrew."

"HEY!" Andrew shouted from the kitchen.

Buffy ignored him and left the house, slamming the door behind her. As Buffy headed down the stairs after the girls, she whispered to herself, "I'm sorry I care so damn much."

Spike didn't hear her. He simply sighed and collapsed on the couch, resting his head in his hands. "There. She won't worry about me again for a long time."

Spike groaned as the pounding in his head intensified. He lay himself out on the couch, grabbing the remote from the floor. Maybe a good movie would help take his mind off things…

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TBC


	3. Chapter 2

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AN: Here's Chapter 2! It took a little longer than I thought it would to get out. Let's just say that if you ever want an excuse to clean your room, lose a library book. Anyway, as a bonus, this chapter is longer than most will be/have been. I didn't intend on it being so long. It just kinda happened. But I'm sure no one can complain about that. It's a treat from me to you for making you wait awhile. Enjoy! And don't forget to review when you're done of course! ;)

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A New Beginning

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Chapter 2

**same night**

"Hah! I win!" Andrew cried, leaping up from the couch. "I beat you! The good side of the Force always wins!"

"Alright, alright! So you won this game. That's still only one out of 5. I won the other four!" Xander shouted.

"Yeah! Well, at least I took the path of the Jedi and became a Jedi Knight! You took the path to the Dark Side and became a Sith Lord! Just look at all those Evil tiles! At least I've redeemed myself!"

Xander was getting frustrated now. He leapt up from his place on the floor, making sure to get into Andrew's face.

"Oh yeah? Well, I have more tiles than you do! Look at all my Logic and Intuition tiles! All you've got is Energy! I'm really smart and you're just really…peppy!"

"Oh yeah?" Andrew retorted. "Well-"

Andrew was cut off by the sound of the door opening. In unison, they both looked toward the door to see Buffy walk in, the SIT's not far behind. Buffy stopped when she saw them. She took one look at the game on the coffee table, and their faces, just inches apart, and said, "I don't even want to know."

The two men – though one could hardly call them so judging from their behavior seconds before – looked at each other and immediately pulled away.

Xander turned back to Buffy, smiling nervously, and, shrugging at the game that Andrew was beginning to put back in the box, stammered, "We were just…we were just…"

"We were playing the Star Wars Life game," Andrew supplied from the floor.

"Yeah," Buffy replied slowly. "Okay."

Xander blanched.

As the SIT's entered the house, heading off to various rooms, Buffy walked over to him. "I'm kidding, Xander," she whispered, a humored smile on her face.

Xander let out a long, loud sigh, smiling with relief. "Good. That's good."

Buffy was on a roll now. "Ya know Xander, the last time I looked we didn't own that game."

"Oh. Well…it's Andrew's."

Buffy gave him a look that clearly meant, "Yeah. Sure it is."

Xander sighed. "I bought it."

"Thought so," Buffy smiled knowingly.

Xander laughed. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Well, it certainly adds some entertainment to my otherwise entertainment-free day."

He smiled. "I'll bet. Well, now that I'm done making a fool of myself, I'll just go hide under my covers." Xander turned around to leave when she stopped him.

"Xander."

He turned back to her, curious.

"Where's Spike?"

Buffy was surprised when Xander's smile quickly deflated. Whether it was because something was wrong, or because Xander didn't like her asking about Spike, she wasn't sure.

"He said he was gonna turn in early."

"What?" Buffy asked in surprise.

"Yeah. I got back from the grocery store about two hours ago. I came inside and he was asleep on the couch. I woke him up and asked him to help me with the groceries. He helped me put them away, complaint free I might add, and then said he was going to turn in."

"Oh," Buffy answered, still looking surprised. Or was it worried?

Off of this look, Xander said, "He's just tired, Buff. You guys have been working really hard training the potentials. I'm surprised _they_ haven't dropped."

Buffy looked to be considering it. Then she replied, "Maybe you're right. We have been working really hard."

"Yeah."

"I think it's about time we had a day off. Tomorrow. No work, no training. We'll stay in and…play board games. Or…we could go shopping. Window shopping. Or see a movie."

"Oh, I want to see the Two Towers!" exclaimed a new voice.

  
Buffy and Xander turned to find Dawn at the foot of the stairs.

Xander grinned, turning back to Buffy. "Oh yeah. I've trained her well."

"Dawn. Eavesdropping. Ever heard of it?" Buffy asked.

"So, are we really going to go see a movie tomorrow?" Dawn asked, completely ignoring Buffy's question.

Buffy sighed, rolling her eyes, but she couldn't be mad. She smiled. "Maybe. We're all taking the day off tomorrow."

"Cool!" Dawn exclaimed.

"Yeah well just because we're staying in doesn't mean you can stay up all night. You still have school tomorrow."

"Tomorrow's Saturday."

"Oh. Never mind then. Boy, time sure does fly doesn't it? Still, you do need to sleep. Sleep is good for you. So no staying up all night."

"Yes mother," Dawn replied, rolling her eyes and smiling, letting her know she was just kidding.

Buffy smiled back. "Good night, Dawn."

"Night guys." Dawn left the room, yelling as she went, "Hey guys! Guess what!"

Xander smiled. "She sure seems happier. I think it was a good idea to start taking her out training."

"Yeah. Even if she's not a potential, it's still a good idea to teach her so she can protect herself. And she's even making friends with the girls."

"Yup. Nothing wrong with that."

"Yeah. Well, I'm gonna head upstairs. Check on Spike and get some sleep."

"Alright. Night, Buffy."

"Goodnight, Xander." Buffy turned and headed up the stairs.

When Buffy was out of earshot, Xander whispered, "Psst. Andrew! You got the instructions?"

Andrew, who had just finished stashing the game under the couch, got up off the floor and walked over to him. "Right here," he answered, holding up the instructions to the Life game.

"Cool! Let's see what kind of Jedi we are."

"Cool! Me first. Hmm. Most Energy tiles, then…Intuition. '_You are so connected to the flow of the Force that it is difficult to see where you end and the Force begins. Instinctively, you tap the Force to see what is to come, to guide your thoughts, to give you strength, and to move faster than the eye can follow. You are often asked to do the impossible and frequently called on for missions where the goals aren't clear, the road is murky, and the outcome uncertain._' "

"Cool. What's mine say?"

"Umm…here. _'Sith Lord: Although powerful, you have fallen to the dark side of the Force. Your access to the Force is through anger, fear, and hatred. Your skills come easily to you, although do not bring you peace. Your power is great, but somehow unsatisfying. All fear you, though none respect you. You bring destruction to the galaxy, using others for your own purposes._' "

Xander was speechless. That last part seemed to apply quite well to their problems with the First. 

Andrew considered the paper for a second, mouth open. Then he looked up at Xander and shook his head.

"What?" Xander asked defensively.

"Dude, that is messed up."

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Upstairs in Buffy's room, Spike was lying on his cot, a cold, wet washcloth pressed to his forehead.

"Ow! Bloody hell!" Spike groaned, pressing the cloth tighter as the sharp pain overpowered the painful, constant thud. "Dammit, that hurts," he hissed through the pain, his eyes closed and his face squinched up. The initial pain lasted about 30 seconds before finally dissipating, leaving the now familiar thud in its wake.

Spike's panting finally lessened and his tense body went slack. Spike sighed as he realized the attack, at least this one anyway, was finally over. He lifted the cloth from his head, rearranged it, and placed it back on his head. He relaxed and tried to see if he could fall asleep. Before he got a chance to, however, he could hear Buffy's voice getting closer to the room. She was coming up the stairs.

As quickly as he could he took the cloth off his forehead and shoved it under the pillow. He wiped off his forehead and lay down on his side, curled up under the covers, and closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep.

Buffy entered the room to find him that way. To her, he seemed asleep. She went over to the dresser and grabbed some pj's and a clean towel. She could never find one anymore, so she'd stooped to hoarding a few in her dresser when she could find them. 

As she headed back toward the door, she paused to look at Spike's face. He seemed to be sleeping soundly, though since he didn't breathe she couldn't know for sure. She let out a deep sigh. She must have just been overreacting. He was fine. Xander was right. He was just tired. She left the room and headed toward the bathroom to see if she could grab a shower.

After she was gone, Spike let out his own sigh. Good. It had worked. He curled up deeper under the blankets and pulled the pillow closer. And when Buffy came back 15 minutes later and climbed into bed, he was sound asleep for real.

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Buffy opened her eyes to find the room still dark. She looked over to the clock next to her bed. 3 o'clock in the morning. Why would she wake up at three? She rolled over to face the door. And that's when she saw him.

Spike was on his cot still, but he was curled up tight, shivering violently. He was letting out tiny whimpering noises and moaning. And he was clutching his head, hanging on for dear life. Or…unlife.

Buffy sprang up out of bed and shot over to the cot, kneeling down beside him. She could now see…tears? Yes, tears running down his face. Beads of sweat covered the parts of his head that she could see. "Spike?" she called out to him.

He didn't answer her. He just continued to moan and shiver.

"Spike!" she yelled. 

He still didn't answer.

She reached out and began to shake him, lightly at first, then harder as her motions proved in vain. And as she was shaking him, she continued to yell his name. "Spike! Spike! Come on! Snap out of it! Spike?!" Buffy got more and more nervous as he continued to be unresponsive to her. "Spike?"

All of a sudden, he stopped thrashing. The shivering ceased and his tense body began to relax.

Spike finally realized that she was next to him, touching him. He vaguely remembered her trying to shake him, but he couldn't respond to her through the pain. He opened his eyes to see her kneeling next to him, concern etched on her face. Spike took his hands off of his head and relaxed, as the pain dissipated once again to a thud.

"Spike?" Buffy whispered, her voice unsteady. "Are you okay?"

'What do I say?' he thought. 'I can't tell her the truth. She'll go nuts.'

"It's nothing," he replied, stretching out on the cot. "I just had a bad dream. That's all. A nightmare. I'm fine."

Buffy didn't look convinced. "Are you sure that's all? You were really freaking out."

"Yeah, well I can have some pretty bad nightmares is all. Really. I'm fine. You should have seen the nightmares I had after I got my soul back. Those were awful. This is nothing. Happens all the time when I have a really bad one."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive Buffy. Trust me. It's over. Just a bad dream. I'll get over it."

Buffy sighed, giving in. "All right. Do you need anything?" she asked.

'Hmm, now this seems oddly familiar, doesn't it?' he thought to himself. Out loud, he answered, "Some blood would be good. I haven't had much to eat today. I'm probably just having bad dreams cause I'm feelin' peckish." He grinned.

Buffy smiled back at him. "Kay. I'll be right back." She took her hands off his shoulders and left the room to go get him some blood. Spike let out a huge sigh when she was gone. "That was close," he said to himself. "Whatever this is, I sure hope it stops soon. I don't know how long I can keep this up."

Spike sat in silence until Buffy returned, warm mug of blood in hand. "Here," she said, handing it to him. He put it to his lips. "Careful! It's hot."

Spike smiled into the mug and began to drink, a warm feeling spreading through him. Not because of the blood, but because of the amount of concern she showed for him. Though annoying at times, and painful for him at others, her concern never ceased to make him feel…special. Warm. Alive. Even…loved.

Spike drained the mug and looked up to find her still in front of him, staring. When the staring became too much for him, he said, "You should get back to sleep, luv."

Buffy shook herself. She'd been staring at him again. She couldn't help it. She wasn't 100% sure that he was telling the truth. "Are you sure you're okay?" she asked for the millionth time that day. 

Spike couldn't possibly be angry about her constant questioning this time. She seemed deeply concerned for him, and he couldn't worry her even more. Gently, he reached out and grasped her hand in his, squeezing it. "I'm fine," he stated firmly but gently. He looked at their hands together and was reminded of so many nights before, after his encounter with the First, when he had done the same thing. "It was just a bad dream. It's okay. You had one of those too, remember? This isn't any different. Now why don't you go back to sleep? You've had a busy day. You don't need to keep yourself up over little old me. Right?"

Buffy smiled at him, trying to make it as real as possible. "Sure," she replied. "Sleep sounds good." She looked down at their hands, still clasped together. She grinned, a genuine one this time. "Can I have my hand back?"

Spike realized he still had her hand in his and he smiled nervously, letting out an equally nervous laugh. "Oh. Of course." He let go of her hand. If he had any circulation, he was sure his face would be beat red.

Buffy got up off of the floor and climbed back into bed. She crawled under the covers and lay down on the edge closest to him, facing him. He set his mug on the floor and lay down too, closing his eyes.

Buffy lay awake until she was sure he should be asleep. Though as usual, her level of assurance couldn't be very high. After about 20 minutes, she closed her eyes and tried to get back to sleep. But she was having a hard time. Had he really had a bad dream? Was that all it was? Or was it something…more? He'd said that she herself had had a bad dream, and his was no different. He was right of course. It wasn't any different at all. People had bad dreams all the time. Her last thought, before falling to sleep, was 'Yeah. But not everyone has slayer dreams that can come true.'

*************

Buffy opened her eyes once again. This time, the room was lit up. She looked over at the clock. 7:30. 

"Dammit!" she cursed "Why can't I just get some sleep? I'm tired enough. You'd think I could stay asleep a little longer." Buffy groaned loudly. She rolled over on her other side to see if she could possibly sneak in a few more hours. She frowned, however, when she spotted Spike's cot. Empty. 

"Hmm. He must have just gone to get some blood." She lay down and relaxed. All of a sudden, her eyes widened. She could see a dark patch on the floor, over near the door. "What the hell?" 

Buffy got out of bed and slowly headed toward the spot. She kneeled down and looked closely. Her eyes widened more, if that was even possible, when she realized what it was. She stood up. "Blood." She'd seen enough of it in her life to know what it was. She stepped out into the hallway.

"Oh my god," she whispered. Smaller dark spots were located throughout the length of the hall. They led to…"The bathroom!"

Buffy sprinted down the hallway to the bathroom. The door was open a crack. Buffy entered, not bothering to knock. She let out a frightened gasp at the scene that met her.

Spike was bent over the toilet, making the most awful noises. He let out a loud heave and blood gushed out of his mouth, landing in the toilet. The blood. From last night. He was throwing it up. 

"Oh God." Buffy rushed over to him, landing next to him on the floor. "Oh Spike," she whispered. She put one hand on his arm and the other she placed on his back. She stroked his back gently as he continued to throw up the blood from hours before.

When the heaving finally subsided, Spike collapsed, his head landing on his arm that was thrown out on the toilet, his unnecessary breathing heavy. Buffy got up and got a washcloth from the towel bar, soaking it in cold water. She gently wiped the blood from his mouth as he sat there. When she was done, she tossed it in the sink.

"Spike?"

Spike pushed himself up off the toilet. He sat up for a second, before he crumpled.

Buffy caught him before he could hit the floor. She rested his sweat-drenched head on her chest and held him to her.

"Oh god," he gasped as pain shot through his head again. The attacks were getting closer and closer together, occurring more often. He grasped his head and curled up in her arms. He began to sob as the pain got worse and worse. Buffy held him closer, cradling his head and stroking his back as he cried, trying her best to comfort him.

When he finally stopped shuddering, Buffy spoke quietly, her voice shaking in fear. "Spike, tell me the truth. Did you really have a nightmare before?"

"Yes," he whispered.

She didn't believe him. Not after this. "Spike, please!" she begged. "Don't feel like you need to lie to me. Please." She choked on the last word.

Spike lifted his face up to look at her. He took one look at her face, her deep concern so clearly evident, and knew he couldn't lie to her anymore.

"No. It wasn't a-" He was cut off by another shot of pain. He shrieked loudly and curled up in her arms again. "Dream," he finished through gritted teeth. "Oh god, oh god, oh god," he chanted, holding his head. "Make it stop, Buffy. Please. Just make it stop," he begged.

Buffy began to rock him slowly, holding his head close, and resting her own head on top of his. "I will. I promise," she whispered into his hair. As blood began to pour out of his nose, Buffy whispered, continuing to rock him, "God, what's happening to you, Spike? What's happening to you?"

*************

**__**

TBC

AN2 – Disclaimer: I didn't want to put this in the beginning because it would have given something away. Nothing too major, but it wouldn't have been as good if you'd known it was coming. Anyway, I need to add this because I really don't want to be sued:

The Jedi descriptions that were spoken by Andrew, and the Star Wars Life game itself (_The Game of Life: A Jedi's Path_), are the sole property of it's makers: Hasbro, Milton Bradley, etc. The "_What Kind of Jedi Are You?_" descriptions are found in the back of the instruction booklet. You didn't honestly think I could come up with those myself, did you? ;) Yeah, I wish.

Anyway, chapter 3 shouldn't take quite as long to get out. It's one of those ones I wrote in the beginning as procrastination. Needs more though. So expect a shorter wait for this one. I can't promise when, but soon. :) And, as always, reviews may tempt me to write faster. ;) Hope you all enjoyed it. :) 


	4. Author's Note

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AN: (This is good news, not bad by the way, so please don't have a heart attack or throw the computer against the wall. I've been known to freak when someone who hasn't written in awhile puts up an Author's Note Anyway…) 

I just wanted to pop in and let you all know that I do plan on continuing with this story. I feel really bad about leaving you all in the dark for so long. RL has just been keeping me busy and I've found that I like spending my free time reading fan fiction as opposed to writing it. But I've kinda drifted back into writing mode. I'm trying my best to stay away from spoilers, and there's just so many out there nowadays. When people warn about spoilers in their stories, I feel tempted to read them anyway. And then there are the times that people might put spoilers in their summaries. Lots of people I know who are trying to stay away from them have been spoiled like that. So I'm not reading as much fan fiction anymore. Just stuff I know is safe, or AU stories. And the best way to pass the time so I don't feel tempted to read them is to write. :) What better way to pass the time? 

So anyway, I am working on chapter 3 right now. I wrote like half of it a long time ago, and I have to find it – it's floating around the house somewhere. After I type that, I have to finish the rest, get it beta'd, etc. But I'll get it done soon hopefully. Can't promise when. The other good news is that I have spring break next week, so plenty of free time to write then too. ;) So I'll get chapter 3 up soon. 

**A note on the story itself:** I realize that the episode this is based on ("The Killer in Me") aired ages ago. But it's not gonna change this at all. I'll still write it like I had planned from the beginning, as if the episode hasn't happened yet. So the spoilers for this story are still only up until the one before KiM ("Potential", 7-12). Any similarities between what I write and what actually happened is purely dumb luck. It's still gonna happen how I wanted it to. 

So for those of you who kept pestering me to finish it, I thank you. You guys did a good job of setting me straight. I enjoy all your wonderful reviews and all your encouragement. :) As they say – "The show must go on." Look for chapter 3 soon. :) Thanks again guys. :)


	5. Chapter 3

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AN: Here it is guys! Chapter 3! :D If your wondering why I took so long to get this chapter out, just refer to the AN between chapters 2 and 3. No need to explain it all again. I'm very happy with how this chapter came out. A lot longer than I thought it would. I do want to repost a note on the story line itself:

****

AN2: I realize that the episode this is based on ("The Killer in Me") aired ages ago. But it's not gonna change this at all. I'll still write it like I had planned from the beginning, as if the episode hasn't happened yet. So the spoilers for this story are still only up until the one before KiM ("Potential", 7-12). Any similarities between what I write and what actually happened is purely dumb luck. It's still gonna happen how I wanted it to. 

Anyway, many thanks go out to my beta Wynn, who has been a super help with this chapter. Her help and good comments are always appreciated. :) Without further ado, on to the chapter. And don't forget to review it when you're done, please. You've all been great so far with reviews. Makes me so happy. :D Thanks.

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A New Beginning

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Chapter 3

"How long has he been like this?"

"Since early this morning. Like around three or so."

Buffy stood at the side of her bed. Xander, Willow, Dawn, and Anya were gathered around the bed with her. Buffy had alerted them to what was going on with Spike, and they had come to see him. Buffy was surprised to see concern on all their faces. Even Xander was upset. He spoke up again. "Do you have any idea what's wrong with him?"

"I think-"

Buffy was cut off by a moan. She turned toward the bed to find Spike reaching for his head again. After his episode in the bathroom, she had helped him back to her room, laying him down on her bed. He had immediately curled up on himself, but at least the head splitting pain was gone. Now, however, it appeared to be back. 

"Buffy…" Spike moaned her name, clutching his head and beginning to tremble. She went over to him and sat on the edge of the bed. She reached out and began to stroke his head gently, reassuring him. She spoke softly and soothingly. 

"It's okay, Spike. I'm right here."

"Buffy, it's…it's the…" Spike tried to get out what he wanted to say, but he was cut off by his own ear splitting scream. The pain hit him hard. He curled up tighter, screaming so loudly that Buffy was sure they could hear him all over Sunnydale. 

The others watched, wincing at the sound of his screams. Dawn felt her eyes begin to tear as it got louder.

Buffy reached out and grabbed one of his hands, pulling it away from his head, and she grasped it in her own, trying to lend him her strength. Buffy ignored the pain in her hand as he squeezed it hard. She took her other hand off of his head and put it on his back, rubbing it in slow, gentle circles. She hated seeing him like this and being powerless to stop it. All she could do was comfort him as best she knew how and reassure him that he wasn't alone. She fought back her tears, concentrating on rubbing his back.

Finally, Spike's tense body went slack. He stopped screaming and he dropped his hand from his head. His grip on Buffy's hand loosened, but he didn't let go. He let out a sigh as the attack passed, panting with breath he didn't need. Buffy was relieved to see that it had passed. At the same time, she got even more scared. Without him gripping her hand, she could see just how weak he really was. How much this was really killing him.

Dawn took a step toward the bed. "Buffy…"

"It's the chip."

"What?"

"Is that right, Spike? Is it the chip?"

"Yeah," Spike replied quietly. He seemed to relax a bit, having gotten across what he had wanted to say before. He laid his head down beside Buffy's leg and he closed his eyes, trying to rest.

The room grew silent. Nobody knew what to say or what to do. It all seemed surreal. The chip had been in his head causing him pain for how long now? Three years? Now all of a sudden it decided he needed some more?

Buffy continued to sit with him, gently rubbing his back. Her eyes never left his face. The face that was usually so strong was now so weak. The eyes that normally glittered and brimmed with energy, life, and love, were now closed in exhaustion. The mouth that usually moved constantly was now screwed shut. She had to fix this. She had to make him better again. She couldn't let him suffer like this. She needed her strong warrior back. The man who loved her. The man she…

"We have to do something," she said, breaking the silence. Her face was set, determined. She had what Willow would call "resolve face". No one was going to argue with her.

"What can we do?" Xander asked.

"The Initiative," Dawn whispered.

"What?"

"The Initiative. We have to find them. Contact them some how. That's our best option right?"

"It's our only option," Buffy replied.

Xander spoke up again. "But how are we gonna-"

Willow's face lit up and she smiled, looking like she had just had a great revelation. "I've got it!" she cried, snapping her fingers. "I'll be right back." Willow turned and high tailed it out of the room.

"Would have been nice if she'd told us what it was before she ran off," Xander retorted.

Meanwhile, Dawn had slowly crept her way up to the bed. She approached Spike, looking at him sadly. She seemed to be considering something deeply. Buffy looked toward her, wondering what was on her mind.

Finally, Dawn spoke. "Can I…." She gestured toward the bed.

Buffy smiled and moved over on the bed, making room for her sister.

Dawn sat down next to Spike. She continued to just stare at him.

Having felt the bed move, Spike opened his eyes. He gave Dawn a small smile. "Hey, Nibblet," he whispered, his voice scratchy from all his screaming.

Dawn smiled back at him, a small, forced smile. "Hey. How are you feeling?"

"Like I got hit by a truck. But other than that I'm fine." 

Dawn smiled at the fact that even in pain, his sense of humor never faltered. But as quickly as the smile had appeared, it was gone. Dawn bowed her head and stared down at Buffy's sheets, too upset to look at Spike, normally so strong, and now reduced to being so weak.

Spike sensed her distress. As carefully as he could, he tried to push himself up. Buffy let go of his hand and helped him sit up. He leaned back against the bedposts after Buffy put a pillow behind him to prop him up. Spike looked toward Buffy. "Buffy, can you-"

"Of course," she cut him off with a small smile. She knew what he was going to ask. She found that she could do that a lot. She got up from the bed and nodded toward Xander and Anya, who were still in the room. "C'mon guys. Why don't we go and see what Willow is up to?"

Neither of the argued as they followed her out of the room. Buffy closed the door behind them and they headed off to find Willow.

Spike turned to Dawn, who was still admiring Buffy's pretty blue sheets. "Dawn, what's wrong?"

She finally looked up at him. "Nothing," she replied, looking back down again.

Spike sighed, looking down at the sheets himself. "I'm sorry," he said sadly.

Dawn looked up at him. "What? What for?"

Spike fidgeted and started to pick at his finger. "For everything. For hurting Buffy. For hurting you."

"What are you talking about?"

"I lost your trust that night. I couldn't even look at you after that. When we had that little talk when I came back after the summer, you told me I'd wake up on fire if I ever hurt her again. You had every right to say that of course. I don't blame you. I blame myself. Hearing you say that, it broke my heart. It killed me to know that I lost everything between us when I hurt her. I knew you could never look at me the same way again. We used to talk all the time. And now…I really miss it. I miss you. I miss your trust. I…." Spike stopped, lifting his face to look at her. Dawn could see tears in his eyes, matching the ones in her own. He continued, his voice shakier and quieter than before. "I'm sorry I hurt you Dawnie. I'm so sorry." Spike looked down again, too ashamed to look at her. 

Dawn didn't know what to say to that. He had changed so much since that night. He just couldn't see how much he had changed. She wasn't mad at him anymore. Not after everything he had done. She just hadn't had the guts to talk to him. Maybe it was about time that she tried. 

"Spike, you've changed. You've changed so much since then. When I said that, I didn't know what you'd done. I didn't know that you'd gone off in search of your soul. That you went halfway around the world, facing painful trials to get it. Buffy told me about that. She said that you knew how wrong what you did was, and that's why you went away. I didn't really understand it then. But I've had some time to think it over. You did it for her. You felt _so _bad about what you did that you went out and faced so much pain to get your soul, all so that you wouldn't hurt her anymore. That took so much willpower to do, Spike. You risked everything to be a better man. And you are. You are a better man. I'm just sorry I didn't realize it until now."

Spike smiled, looking up again. "She told me the exact same thing, before the First took me. And then she told me…she said that she believed in me."

Dawn smiled. "She was right, Spike. You are a better man. You risked everything for her. She believes in you, Spike. And so do I. Maybe it's time you started believing in yourself."

Spike's smile grew, lighting up his face. Despite the tears that were gathered in his eyes, it was the best smile Dawn had ever seen. "When did you become so smart?" he asked affectionately. 

"You're not the only one that's changed," she answered.

Spike laughed. "Yeah, you did a lot of growing while I was gone didn't ya?"

"Yup."

The room grew silent, both of them lost in thought. All of a sudden, Dawn blurted out, "You're not going to die are you?"

Spike looked surprised. "What?"

"The chip. It isn't gonna kill you, right?"

Spike didn't know what to say to that. So he said the only thing he could think of. "I'm already dead, Bit. It's a little late for that."

Dawn didn't laugh. Instead, the tears that were hiding in the corners of her eyes began to fall. She looked down once more, too upset to look at him. 

Spike's heart broke. He hated to see his nibblet in pain. "Dawn, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"You can't die, Spike. You can't." She looked up at him, tears continuing to fall. "We haven't…we haven't hung out together for so long. We used to play cards, and watch movies, and go shopping. You even went to a concert with me."

"Hey, you promised me you wouldn't tell anyone about that."

She smiled at that, but it disappeared as she continued. "We haven't done stuff like that in so long. I miss it. I miss hanging out with you. We have to do it again. You can't leave. You're like my brother. My best friend. You can't leave me. I love you."

Tears were now falling down Spike's face as well. She'd told him that during that dreadful summer when Buffy was gone. He was in so much pain over Buffy's death, and he had planned on standing by her grave, letting the sun come up and end his misery for good. But she had stopped him. She'd dragged him into the nearest crypt, screaming at him and yelling, hitting him when he'd tried to get away. She had told him how much she needed him, how he was like a member of her family, like a brother, the only one she had left who understood her. She'd fallen into his arms, sobbing and saying over and over how she loved him and needed him to stay with her. They'd stayed in that crypt all day, crying in each others arms and doing their best to comfort each other. Now it seemed like that was happening all over again. Spike smiled around the tears. "I love you too, Dawn. You know I do."

She let out a cross between a laugh and a sob. She looked at him, and the look on her face broke his heart once again. He opened his arms and she threw herself at him. She put her arms around him and held him tight, letting the tears fall and the sobs wrack her body. She curled up in his arms, much like she had during that summer. He held her tight and began to rub her back, rocking her slowly. He rested his head on top of hers, letting his tears fall in her hair, failing at fighting back his own sobs and his own shaking. They stayed like that for what seemed like hours. Finally, Dawn stopped shaking. She lifted her head and sniffled. Reluctantly, he let her go. She sat up and began wiping at her eyes. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me," she said, suddenly ashamed at her outburst. Some growing up she was doing.

Spike smiled at her embarrassment. "You're a teenager, Bit. All those bloody hormones are just wreaking havoc on you. Either that or it's just that time of the month."

Dawn looked horrified. "Spike!" she whined, punching him lightly on the arm, but grinning, letting him know she wasn't really upset.

Spike rubbed his arm playfully. "Careful, Bit. You're getting pretty strong."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

She smiled widely.

"Listen Dawn, we'll figure this out. I promise. We'll figure out what's wrong, and then you and I can have fun. Go see a movie, play cards…"

"Concerts?"

"Don't count on it. I told you I'd never go to another one of those nancy boy concerts ever again. Just because I have a soul doesn't mean I'm gonna give into that again. Things have changed."

"That they have. I love you, Spike."

Spike smiled, a smile full of life, happiness, and love. A smile he hadn't had in the longest time. Maybe ever. "I love you, too."

Dawn reached out to give him another hug. No tears this time. Just smiles. But Dawn couldn't get rid of the fear she felt. He'd said they'd figure it out. But she still had a bad feeling that something was going to go bad. Dawn was just thinking that living on the Hellmouth really did wonders for destroying your optimism, when all of a sudden, Spike tensed up. "Spike?"

He didn't answer her.

"Spike what's wrong?"

"It's…OH GOD!"

Dawn leapt away as Spike's arms flailed out of hers, his hands reaching up to his head. He curled his legs up to his chest and ducked his head, resting it on his knees. Dawn watched in horror as he started howling in pain as the chip went off again. "Oh my god. BUFFY!!" Dawn yelled.

Ten seconds later, Buffy burst into the room, followed closely by Willow, Xander, and Anya. They found Spike curled up at the top of the bed, Dawn sitting at the end, watching in horror as he screamed and shook. Buffy ran to the bed and sat down next to Spike. She reached out and took one of his hands, holding it like she had done last time. Rubbing gentle circles on his hand, she turned to Dawn. "What happened?"

"We were just talking and all of a sudden he got all tense and then he screamed."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she answered. She looked at Spike's pained form. "Just fine."

Fortunately, this attack was shorter than most. Soon he had calmed down, falling back against the back of the bed. Buffy continued to rub his hand. Once they were sure it was passed, Willow spoke up. "Buffy?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want me to try that spell?"

"If you think it'll help."

"Okay."

"What is she going to do?" Dawn asked.

"It's an easy spell," Willow stated. "All you need is a talisman and the right words. It's supposed to put him in a deep sleep. Help him relax."

"For how long?" Dawn asked.

"I'm not sure. An hour? A couple? It's not too clear. Do you want me to do it?"

Buffy looked at Spike. He was still sitting next to her, looking at her. Seeing the pain in his eyes, Buffy knew what to do. "Do it," she answered quietly. 

"Okay. Spike? Is that okay with you?"

Spike was so tired. So very tired. He honestly didn't know how much longer he could take it. But he didn't want to worry anyone. He tried channeling a bit of his humor. "As long as you promise to pronounce all the words right and not to turn me into a bunny rabbit or something, I say go for it."

"NO!!"

Everyone turned to look at Anya. 

"No bunnies. No way! No bunnies! You know I hate bunnies!"

"Don't worry Anya. I won't turn him into a bunny."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Okay. Cool." Her attitude did a complete one-eighty as she gave a thumbs-up and put on her patented, overly done smile. "Go for it!"

Willow sighed. She would never understand her. "Okay. Here goes." She started to speak the words, when all of a sudden Spike cut her off.

"WAIT!!"

Willow looked toward Spike. "What?"

"Don't you have to put the talisman around my neck or something? To make sure that it puts only me to sleep and not all of you?"

"Willow!" Anya whined.

"Sorry, sorry. You're right. Sorry." Willow took the talisman and handed it to Spike. Spike put the string around his neck, letting the talisman hang down.

"Okay, ready?"

"Go ahead Willow," Buffy replied. 

Willow began to chant the Latin words of the spell from the book she held. As the last word was spoken, Spike collapsed. Luckily, Buffy caught him before he could fall to the floor. Gently, she laid him out on the bed. She slowly tucked the blankets around him and put the pillow under his head, making him comfortable. When she was done, she got up to look at him. 

Willow's spell seemed to have worked well. He wasn't moving at all, which was a little disconcerting. But the look on his face was a peaceful one. Buffy smiled, a tear coming to one eye. He looked so peaceful. The only other time she'd seen him like this was after she had rescued him from the First. She had taken him home to her house, bringing him upstairs, not stopping to answer the millions of questions she was bombarded with. She had gotten out a first aid kit and begun to bandage his ribs. She had taken care of his cuts and bruises as best she could. When she was done playing doctor, she had tucked him into her bed, making him comfy. He hadn't said a word up until that point. She had turned to leave when he whispered, "I knew you would come for me.

Buffy turned around to look at him. He had the most adoring look on his face. Fresh tears were falling, but they were tears of happiness. His smile was full of awe and wonder. And, as always, love. He continued. "It told me you wouldn't come. But I knew you would. I knew it." 

Buffy had smiled at him, fighting back her tears. She had sat back down on the side of the bed. She had reached out and gently stroked his hair. Then she'd whispered, "Everything's going to be okay Spike. Everything's going to be okay. You just rest now." But it was too late. He was already fast asleep. The look on his face was so peaceful and relaxed, totally different from the look he had had when she saw him hanging from the wall. Now, seeing him under the spell, he looked like he had that night that she had "come for him."

Buffy smiled. She turned to face the others.

"I think we should leave him alone. Let him rest for awhile."

The others nodded. Willow left the room with her book, followed by Anya, and Xander. Buffy turned to find Dawn standing next to the bed. "Sleep tight, Spike," she whispered. She gave him an affectionate peck on the forehead. Buffy found herself wondering what had happened when she left. Dawn's attitude toward Spike had done a full one-eighty. Dawn turned to find Buffy staring at her. "What?" she asked.

"He's gonna be okay, Dawn. Willow found Sam's number. She's gonna call her and get her to put Riley on. Then I'm gonna have a talk with him. Get him to come here with some help."

"Do you think he will? Bring help?"

Buffy smiled. "I'll make him. We'll get Spike some help and they'll fix it. I promise. Okay?"

Dawn smiled back. "Yeah. Okay."

"Good. Let's go."

The two sisters turned around and left the room together. Spike rested quietly on the bed.

Buffy closed the door behind her. Dawn headed downstairs to get something to eat. It was about 8 in morning, and there was no way she would get back to sleep. She needed some food. Willow and Anya were nowhere to be seen.

"Buffy?"

Buffy turned to find Xander still standing in the hallway. "Yeah Xander?"

"Can we talk?"

Buffy's heart skipped a beat. He had such a serious look on his face. What could he possibly want to talk about? "About what Xander?"

"Let's go to your Mom's room. Nobody's in there, so we can talk alone."

Buffy was still hesitant, but Xander seemed to really want to have a talk with her. "Sure Xander."

"Okay. Let's go."

Buffy followed Xander down the hall to her mother's old room, wondering as she went just what it was the Xander wanted to say.

**__**

TBC

There you go guys. Nice new chapter. It began to get longer than I thought it would, which isn't a bad thing. ;) I was going to add in the next scene between Buffy and Xander, but I wanted to get this out to you guys. I've made you wait long enough. That scene will fit in next chapter, so no worries. Anyway, as usual, please review the chapter. I hope you guys liked it. Once again, I apologize for making you guys wait so long. RL can be a real bitch sometimes. So I'll get to work on the next chapter. You guys just make sure to review this. :) Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 4

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AN: Here it is guys! Chapter 4. The much anticipated scene btw Buffy and Xander. Not much to say except I hope you guys are still liking this story. I hope you'll all review when you're done. Enjoy! :) 

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NOTE: _Italicized words_ signify conversation that took place in the past.

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A New Beginning

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Chapter 4

Xander pushed open the door to Dawn's room, peering around it to make sure that there was no one inside. There were so many people in this house that there was no telling where someone might be hiding, looking for a quiet moment alone. Finding the room empty, he stepped inside, waked over to Dawn's bed, and sat down on the edge. He looked toward the door to find Buffy entering the room. She stepped inside and closed the door softly behind her.

Buffy turned to face Xander, but she didn't move from her spot in front of the door. Xander smiled and patted the bed next to him. "Sit."

Buffy replied to his simple request by slowly approaching the bed and sitting gently down next to him. Once she was sitting, she put her hands in her lap and looked down at them nervously. She had no idea what it was that he wanted to talk about. 'Or maybe,' she thought to herself, 'it's because I _do_ know what he wants to talk about…' Buffy sighed softly and began to pick at her nails.

Finally, Xander broke the silence with a loud sigh. He looked up at her. "Buffy, we need to talk."

She looked up. "Really? I never would have guessed that's what you wanted to do when you said it back in the hallway," she joked, smiling. Her smile disappeared when Xander didn't smile back.

"It's not a joking matter," he answered. "I'm serious."

Buffy looked down at her hands again, even more nervous than before. "You? Serious? Well then it must be important," she replied with a small smile.

This got Xander to smile a bit. But his smile faded when he remembered what he was here for. "I'm not sure how to ask you this."

Buffy looked up. "Xander-"

"Are you in love with Spike?"

Buffy looked at him in shock, eyes wide open. There it was. She knew it was coming, yet somehow that didn't make it any less surprising. "What?! Why would you…"

"Come on, Buff. We all saw the way you treated him in there. How you held him. Comforted him. The way you looked at him."

"Xander. I was just…he was hurting and I…." She looked down, unable to continue.

"You wanted to make it stop."

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because…because I care. About him. I…"

"Do you love him?"

Buffy looked up. "No! Of course not! I can't… I can't love him! He's…I just can't…." Suddenly, she looked doubtful. She looked Xander straight in the eyes. "I can't. Right?"

"Buffy, you can't hide from your feelings forever. You have to let go. Accept them. Or you'll never really live. You'll just be dead inside."

Buffy visibly flinched at his words, brought back to a time one year ago, when she had said those same words to Spike. But she hadn't meant them. That night in the alley, she hadn't' been saying those things about him. They were about her. She had taken her anger out on him. Xander was right. Back then, she was dead inside because she couldn't admit how she really felt. Maybe it was time she started living again.

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"I love him. I do. I love him so much."

She choked up on her last words. She looked, fighting hers tears as best as she could.

Xander was left feeling speechless. He knew it. He could tell. She'd been too kind to him. Too caring. Too insistent that they rescue him from the Turok-han. He'd been there the night she "rescued him". He'd been the one to drive them home. She had carefully laid Spike out in the backseat, resting his head gently in her lap. She had smiled at him, stroking his head as he rested peacefully. The look of wonder and love that he had worn had matched hers exactly. The way she had looked at him then, her eyes full of caring. The way she had held him. The way her lips met his cheek and his forehead in gentle kisses. That was just not the way you treated someone you wanted around for "muscle". He had meant more to her. Tonight had just sealed it for him.

Back in the present, Xander finally spoke. "How long?"

"I don't know how long exactly. I think I've known for awhile now. Since he came back. I just didn't want to admit it to myself. Or to anyone." As soon as she said that, she looked up at him pleadingly. "Xander, I know how you feel about him. Please don't-"

"I'm not here to judge you, Buffy. I'm here to help you. And him, in a way."

Buffy looked puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"Have you told him, Buffy?"

"I…"

"Have you?"

"No," she answered, looking away once more.

"Well, don't you think it's about time you did? He's been through so much. All for you. For your love. Doesn't he deserve the truth? Doesn't he deserve to know how you feel about him?"

She looked toward him. The tears she had been trying so hard to fight slowly began to fall. "Yes."

"You're afraid. You're afraid that he's gonna die. For good this time."

A ghost of a smile passed over her face. She was too choked up to answer him, so she only nodded.

"Then maybe it's about time you told him. Gave him something to look forward to. Something to stick around for. With your love, there's no telling what he could live through. Your love is too powerful to let him die."

"Xander…" Buffy choked, her tears now streaming freely, her eyes full of wonder and love for her best friend.

"I may not like it. I may not like him. But I want you to be happy. I want you to live. To find a reason to live. I'll always support you and your decisions no matter what they are. I love you, Buffy." He smiled.

"Oh, Xander. I love you, too." She couldn't hold back anymore. She opened her arms and reached out to him. He reached back and they met in a fierce hug. They held each other tightly, Xander gently rocking her and rubbing her back as she began to sob. They held each other for what felt like hours.

Finally, Buffy's sobs subsided. She sniffled and finally let go of him. She sat up and rubbed at her eyes, embarrassed by her outburst. "I'm sorry," she said, sniffling and continuing to dry her eyes.

"It's all right, Buffy. It's okay to let people see how you really feel. Emotions are healthy. Don't you feel better now that you've let that out?"

She smiled. "Yeah, I do. And you know, I think I'm ready to let something else out too. I'm gonna tell him."

Xander smiled. He was glad he'd been able to get through to her. He'd said what he wanted; what she needed to hear. Now maybe she could learn to open up a bit. Not just to Spike, but to _all_ of them. Maybe she would finally live again.

He was pulled from his thoughts when she spoke up. "I think you just saved another world, Xander."

He looked puzzled. "Whose?"

She smiled. "Mine."

Now it was his turn to get teary eyed. "Good. I'm glad to hear it."

"Don't ever feel like you're not needed, Xander. That you're useless."

He looked up in surprise. How had she known…

"Because you're _not_. You're a wonderful person, Xander. You can see what everyone needs and you give it to them. Like this talk. You saw how much I needed it and you gave it to me. I'm so thankful for it. For you. You're a great friend, Xander. We all need you."

Xander smiled. He had no idea how she knew what he had been feeling so recently. What he had talked about with Dawn just a few days ago. But he didn't care. "Thanks. That means a lot," he replied, smiling through the tears now falling down his face.

Buffy reached out to pull him into a hug. It was her turn to comfort him. "I love you. You know that right?"

Xander smiled into her shoulder. "Yeah, I do."

They continued to hold each other until, once more, they pulled away. Once he was calm, Xander spoke up again.

"So, you gonna tell him now?"

"Yeah," Buffy replied with a smile. "As soon as he wakes up, I'm going to tell him. He deserves to know. He deserves to be loved."

"Yeah, he does." Realizing what he had just said, Xander turned away, blushing slightly.

Buffy looked surprised to hear this coming from him. Then, all of a sudden, a knowing smile spread over his face. "If I didn't know any better," she teased, "I'd say you had a soft spot for him."

Xander looked appalled. He looked around the room. "Who? Me? No. No way. Uh-uh." Xander shook his head.

Buffy smiled at him doubtfully.

Xander couldn't hold back his grin. He sighed. "Okay, fine. Maybe a little one. A microscopic one." He held his thumb and index finger apart a fraction of an inch to make his point. Buffy just smiled wider, not believing him for an instant. He sighed again, louder than before. "OKAY!" he gave in. "What can I say? He just kind of grows on you. Like a fungus."

Buffy cringed.

Xander noticed her reaction. "Sorry, that was gross." Then he grinned. "He's more like a wart. Or a-"

"Xander!!" Buffy screeched. She reached for one of Dawn's pillows and hit him over the head with it.

"Hey!" he laughed, grabbing the pillow from her before she could hit him again.

"You really can't stay serious for very long, can you?"

"Don't laugh! I think I broke my record today."

She grinned. "Yeah, well-"

"Buffy?"

Buffy turned toward the door when she heard Willow call her name. "I'm in here, Will!" she yelled.

Willow's footsteps could be heard coming down the hall toward the room. She opened the door to find Buffy and Xander sitting on the edge of Dawn's bed, their eyes red and puffy, obviously from crying. "Is everything okay in here?" she asked, a concerned look spreading over her face.

Buffy smiled. "Everything's fine, Willow. Everything's fine."

Satisfied with Buffy's answer, Willow smiled back and entered the room Her smile quickly vanished as she said what she had come to say. "I've got Riley on the phone."

Buffy's smile vanished too. Time to face the music. This was one conversation she was _not _looking forward to having. She sighed and stood up. "I'll take the call in here. Probably the only empty room in the house."

Willow smiled. "Good luck," she said.

"Thanks."

Willow turned and left the room, heading off the kitchen to see if there was any food left in the house.

Buffy turned to Xander.

"Well, I better get going. Give you some privacy." He got off the bed and headed past her toward the door.

Buffy turned to around to face his retreating back. "Xander?"

He stopped at the door, hand on the knob, and turned to face her. 

She smiled at him. Her smile spoke volumes. "Thank you," she said, her voice full of gratitude.

He smiled back at her. "You're welcome, Buffy." He turned around to leave the room.

"Xander?"

He stopped once more. "Yeah?"

"Maybe it's about time you started following your own good advice."

He looked confused at first, but then he smiled. She was right. He had told her to let her feelings show, yet he somehow forgot that he tended to hide his a lot too. Always using sarcasm and jokes to hide what he was really feeling. She was right. He should follow his own advice. He gave her a smile. "Yeah, maybe I will." And he meant it. He turned around and left the room, closing the door softly behind him. "Maybe I will."

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Quietly as she could, Buffy pushed open the door to her room. She entered the room and used her free hand to close the door behind her. She tiptoed over to her bed, placing the glass she held on her bedside table. She smiled down at Spike's sleeping form. He was in the same position she had left him in. Apparently the chip couldn't reach him in the deep sleep he was in

She glanced at the clock. It was now noon. He'd been asleep for four hours now. Willow had told her that Spike should be waking up soon. Buffy wanted to be there when he did. After all, she had something very important she wanted to tell him.

As gently as she could, she picked up his hand from the bed and sat down next to him. She held onto it, resting it on her lap in her own hand. She started to gently stroke his hand, smiling at him. He looked so peaceful. So young. So beautiful. He would make it through this. He would live to sleep like this again. She would make sure of it.

Her talk with Riley had been a hard one. He had argued with her just like she knew he would.

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"Do you have any idea what you'd be doing? He'd be free to kill again!"

"He has a soul, Riley! He doesn't need that chip! It's killing him!"

"And that's a bad_ thing?"_

It had gone on like that for quite some time. But she wasn't about to give up hope. Finally, she said the one thing that she _knew_ would get to him.

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"Riley, please. If you won't do it for him, do it for me. Please."

Riley had sighed. He still loved her. He always would. What the hell was he to do? 

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"I'll see what I can do."

He had hung up noisily. Buffy had put the phone down and sat down on Dawn's bed, letting the tears pass.

Ten minutes later, the phone rang. It was Riley He had told her that he and a team of initiative doctors who knew the chips technology, were on their way to Sunnydale. They were on an assignment nearby and would be there in about seven or eight hours. He had promised to call her when they were almost there. Then he had hung up without another word.

In the present, Buffy sighed. He should be arriving in about four hours; around four o'clock in the afternoon. They would have a hard time getting Spike out of the house if they needed to. She sighed. Why was it never dark or rainy in Sunnydale? She laughed, suddenly having answered her own question. Of course it never rained around here. It was _Sunny_dale.

She sighed and looked back at Spike, still resting in peace. She was overcome with a great rush of emotion. Her eyes teared up as her smile widened. She bent down slowly and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. She reached out with her other hand and stroked his head, running her fingers through his hair.

All of a sudden, Spike's body twitched. She felt his hand move in hers, and she moved her other hand off of his head. She watched as he slowly woke up, blinking his eyes to get the sleep out of them. He looked around in confusion. Then his eyes fell on her and he smiled again, relaxing against the pillows.

Buffy squeezed his hand and smiled back at him. "Hey sleepyhead."

Spike squeezed her hand back in response. "Hey. What time is it?"

"It's noon. You've been asleep for about 4 hours."

Spike gave a small nod. 

"How did you sleep?"

"Great. Absolutely great."

"Was it a dreamless sleep?"

Spike's brows scrunched up as he tried to recall what he'd felt. "Not dreams really. Just…a feeling of peace. Comfort. There were no people or images or anything. Just…a state of mind, you know? Lots of light. And just…peace."

Buffy smiled. He had such a peaceful look on his face as he recalled what he had felt. He could pull so much comfort just from the memory of it. She was happy. He deserved some peace and quiet. He had been through so much lately. He deserved some time alone. Some time that wasn't full of pain and torture, grief and self hatred. He deserved peace. Buffy would have given anything to let him stay there longer. But Willow had said they couldn't do the spell again for at least 24 hours. And by then…Buffy had no idea what things would be like by then. She was pulled from her thoughts by Spike. "Buffy?"

She shook herself out of her thoughts and looked at him. His look of peace had been replaced by one of confusion. "You okay?"

She smiled. "I'm fine, Spike. So I take it you slept well?"

His peaceful look returned. "Wonderfully."

Buffy continued to smile and looked down at his hand. Unconsciously, she began to stroke it. Spike squeezed her hand gently, letting her know that he was still there and that he was okay. Her eyes teared up at such a simple gesture. She lifted her head and looked him straight in the eyes. 'It's now or never,' she thought.

"Spike. There's something I need to tell you."

He frowned. Something was up. She'd never been this serious before. "What is it?"

"I…" She stopped. He had just twitched again, grasping her hand none too gently. "Spike?"

"Oh god. It's coming."

"What-"

She was interrupted by a bloodcurdling scream from Spike. His hand gripped hers tightly, and Buffy's could've sworn she could hear her bones creaking. He rolled over onto his side facing her, curling up, his free hand clutching his head as the chip went off. Buffy could do nothing but watch in horror as he writhed in pain. So much for his peace. She reached out and pulled him closer to her, laying his head in her lap, gently stroking his head as he curled up close to her; so close that Buffy swore he was trying to meld himself to her. She continued to hold him as his screaming intensified. Buffy was so intent on comforting him that she didn't even notice when Xander, Dawn, Willow, and Anya stopped in the doorway, none of them wanting to enter the room.

Buffy held him close, stroking him softly, praying that it would stop soon. All of a sudden, she froze. She watched in shock and horror as blood began to gush slowly from his nose. A steady stream of bright, red blood, oozing out of his nose and down his face. She was too shocked and too scared to do anything except watch. She didn't even notice when he finally stopped writhing, falling limp in her arms, out cold. She just continued to stare at the bright red line of blood on his face. 

Finally, someone reacted. "Everybody get out." 

Xander, Dawn, and Anya turned to Willow, confused.

  
"Go!" she insisted, resorting to pushing them physically away from the room. "Go!" 

When the three of them were finally gone, Willow entered the room and shut the door behind her. She walked over to the bed. Buffy was still sitting there, staring down at him. Willow was reminded of the time when Glory had kidnapped Dawn and Buffy had shut down completely, retreating into her mind. Willow just hoped that she wasn't that far gone. She didn't think that she'd be able to go in and get her out again. She reached out and gently stroked Buffy's shoulder. "Buffy?"

When she didn't respond, Willow carefully moved Spike over on the bed. She put her other hand on her other shoulder and turned Buffy towards her. "Buffy!"

Buffy twitched, seeming to come out of a trance. She blinked and looked around, finally finding Willow sitting in front of her. She seemed to calm down and come back to herself. "Are you okay?" Willow asked with concern. 

"Oh, I'm sorry Willow. I just…phased out for a moment there. I'm fine." Buffy got up off of the bed, forcing Willow to let go of her. She walked over to her bedside table and picked up a washcloth she had sitting there. She walked back over to the bed and sat down. She took the washcloth and began to gently clean the blood off of Spike's face. "I'm fine," she whispered. 

Willow watched as she wiped the blood away. When she was done, Buffy took away the cloth. The beautiful white was stained with dark red blood. "Oh god." Her free hand reached up to cover her mouth as she let go of the cloth, letting it fall to the floor. "Oh god." She covered her face as she burst into tears.

Willow was shocked. She'd never seen Buffy act like this. It was just a little nosebleed. Yet somehow, it was a lot more than just a little nosebleed.

"Oh god," Buffy cried. She began to cry, her body shaking with sobs she finally didn't bother to suppress.

Willow reached out and grabbed her, pulling her close. She rested Buffy's head on her shoulder, and Buffy went with it. Her hands left her face and rested on Willow's shirt, holding on for dear life as she let the sobs wash over her. Willow felt tears come to her eyes as she began to gently rock her friend. It was scary seeing her like this. She was such a strong person. She never used let her feeling show like this. That must have been some talk she and Xander had. Willow fought back her tears. She had to be strong for Buffy. She needed someone to be strong for her because she couldn't be strong for herself. Willow began to whisper to her, trying to soothe her with her voice. "It's gonna be okay," she whispered. "This is Spike we're talking about, Buffy. You know he always bounces back."

"But he won't!"

Willow was surprised. "What do you mean?"

Buffy pulled away to look at her. "I had a dream, Will. A slayer dream. Spike was in it, and he was in a room. He was in so much pain. He was screaming. And the blood. Oh god. All the blood. It's coming true Willow! I thought it was wrong. I didn't think it would actually happen. But it is Willow! It's happening. He's going to die, and there's nothing I can do about it!"

"Of course you can. You can stay with him until Riley-"

"It won't do any good! He died in my dream and there's nothing I can do to change it. Nothing!"

"Buffy, you can't just give up. You can't give up hope. Just because it happened in your dream doesn't mean it's going to happen for real. Haven't you ever had dreams that didn't come true?"

"Well…There was one dream where I was a fish and I got flushed down the toilet and-"

"And that didn't come true did it?"

Buffy seemed to calm down a bit. "No. It didn't." She laughed. "Of course not. Cause that's just too weird."

Willow smiled. "See? Not every dream comes true. Maybe this one was just a warning. Meant to show you what could happen if you ignored it. But you haven't ignored it. You've done everything you can to prevent it. Maybe the dream was just meant to warn you that you needed to act. It doesn't mean that what happened is really going to happen."

"Maybe you're right," Buffy admitted. "But…but what if…" Tears began to fall once again. "What if it does?"

"Buffy-"

  
"I can't lose him, Willow. I just can't! I love him so much, and I never even got to tell him."

Willow didn't seem shocked by the revelation. She had had a feeling for awhile now. "Buffy…"

"I love him. He can't die. I need him. I need him here with me. I love him so much." Buffy started to cry again, burying her head in her hands. Her head was quickly relocated to Willow's shoulder as she pulled her into a hug yet again, comforting her once more. She just held her, gently rubbing her back, comforting her friend as best she knew how. Just being there for her.

Finally, Buffy's sobs subsided. When Willow was sure she had calmed down, she gently pushed Buffy away. "Are you okay?"

Buffy was unable to speak. But she nodded. She wiped her eyes, smiling gratefully at Willow, showing her the gratitude she felt without words. Willow smiled a bit at her. She leaned forward and laid a gentle, comforting kiss on her forehead. "I'm gonna leave you alone. Give you some time. When he wakes up, be sure to tell him that I hope he feels better."

Buffy nodded.

Willow got up after giving Buffy's hand a reassuring squeeze and headed toward the door. 

"Will?"

Willow turned back to Buffy. "Yeah?"

"I love you."

She smiled. "I love you too, Buffy."

"Thank you for being such a great friend. You have no idea how much you mean to me."

"About half as much as _you_ mean to _me_."

Buffy laughed. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Willow replied. She quietly turned and left the room, shutting the door behind her.

Buffy sighed. She was so lucky to have friends like Willow and Xander. She had truly been blessed. She turned back to Spike and her smile quickly vanished. She cringed when she saw Spike begin to tremble again. He was out cold, totally unconscious. But the chip was still going off, and apparently he could feel every shock from it. Buffy reached out and held his hand, knowing he couldn't feel it, but wanting to feel like she was doing something. She continued to stroke his hand until he stopped moving, still unconscious, but at least the chip had stopped firing. 

Buffy got up and lay Spike back against the pillows. She laid the rest of his body out as comfortably as possible, pulling the sheets up around him, tucking him in up the his shoulders. She pulled his left arm out from under the blankets, resting it out on the edge. She sat down on the floor next to the bed, tossing the bloody washcloth aside, and rested her head down next to his arm, laying her arms out on the bed. She pulled his hand into hers and began to stroke it yet again. A nice soothing motion. Perhaps more for her benefit than his. To reassure herself the he was still there.

"I love you, Spike. You have to make it through this. You have to. I need to tell you how much I love you. I need to show you how much I love you. There's just so much that we need to do."

Buffy sat there and continued to stroke his hand, speaking softly, tears coursing gently down her cheeks every so often. She told him about all the things she had planned. All the things that they were going to do. She knew he probably couldn't hear her, but maybe, just maybe, he could. She continued to talk to him, until, finally, she fell into a deep, fitful sleep.

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TBC

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That's it. Hope you liked it. A note on Buffy's call to Riley: I tried and tried to write that as a scene unto itself and it just didn't come to me. I've been trying since the beginning. So I finally said screw it and just mentioned major points (of the conversation that would have happened) later on in the chapter. I just can't write Riley. Hmm, maybe that has something to do with my intense dislike of him. Eh, go figure. Anyway, that's why I left that out. I think it all worked out okay anyway. So as always, make sure to review, and I'll get cracking on chapter 5. :)


	7. Author's Note 2

Hey guys! Yup, it's another AN. I'll try to make it short. I'm really sorry to be keeping you guys waiting so long. I do plan on continuing with this story. I haven't trashed it or given up or anything. It's just that school is winding to a close and it seems that the teachers who gave us no work all year decided now was the time to do some. :P It's nuts. Finals are coming up soon and were still doing more and more work. It's driving me crazy. It doesn't help that I have senioritis and I'm still a junior. I can't wait to see what it'll be like next year. Ugh. So school's being a big pain right now and things are a little hectic. As soon as school is finally over and summer starts, i'll have more time and energy and i'll be able to get back to it. I've got about 2 more weeks left and then i'll be back at it. So yes, I do plan on finishing it eventually. It'll just have to wait for school to finish though. Sorry guys. Once again, I apologize for making you all have to wait. Next time I write a story, I think I should wait till I've finished the whole thing and then post it in parts. Maybe wait a day and put up another part or something. I feel bad making you guys wait so long. Sorry! :'(  
  
*grumble* *grumble* I really really hate school! It's just plain EVIL!! 


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